Category: Mindset

Awaken Your Phoenix Child


phoenix child

Have you ever had a setback? Were you really looking forward to something and it did not come through the way you wanted or when you wanted?  Have you then tried to talk yourself out of feeling sad about it.  You tell yourself that it really did not matter, it was not meant to be, don’t worry about it, stay positive, stay strong, basically “get over it already, it’s no big deal”.  No matter how much you tell yourself these words, there is still that nagging feeling of sadness and  frustration underneath your positive attitude.  Does this sound familiar?

How often as children and  adolescents are we told, when something does not go our way to suck it up, get over it,  deal with it, get on with life, you don’t get what you want, you are being too emotional  and the list goes on.

As adults we have memorized these words our guardians have told us, so much so, that we are masters of hiding how we  truly feel, especially when it comes to emotional pain.  We have become experts in abandoning our inner children because we were abandoned as children and not allowed to grieve our losses.

A loss is not just a personing dying. We experience loss in the form of dreams unrealized, moving on from friends, losing meaningful items, leaving a job, moving to a new home or new school.  We experience losses all the time and however  my inner child perceives them is quite alright.

Something happened this week that did not go as planned and I wanted to be a “big girl” and not be upset about it. However, I could feel that nagging feeling of sadness as my inner child was trying to express her feelings and I, the adult in me,  did not want to hear it. “We just have to suck it up and not worry.  You are being dramatic, you know everything happens for a reason, there is nothing to fear…”  this is what I was thinking to myself. After about 3 hours of trying to work and convince myself I was not  feeling let down,  I put my work down, layed in my bed and cried.

I this moment that is all my inner child wanted to do.

And so this is how we heal…we face ourselves and not run from ourselves.

I imagined my inner child being held in my arms. I imagined I was rocking her and loving her. I imagined  she was fully accepted in all of her worry, sadness and frustration.  I did not try to fix her or make her okay. I just imagined she was okay just as she was.

Can you imagine  how we or even the world would be different, if this was the message we received as children when we experienced loss? That is the world I am down to create.

In comes the Phoenix Child

Did you know that even within our grieving inner child there is a part of her that is our phoenix child. She our phoenix child lives in us too and she is incredibly powerful.  She holds the keys to our self compassion and forgiveness. She really is magical in every way. I love knowing we as spiritual beings are so multifaceted, we have such depth to us, as the saying goes, and  I paraphrase, there are  many mansions in the kingdom of I.

Inner child work is a daily mindfulness practice of becoming aware of one’s inner conversations. The question is are we willing to listen and allow this amazing relationship to to bloom. Using meditation and guided imagery, has been my way to  awakening my Phoenix Child or as some refer to her as, the magical child. Tapping into our safe space within has been our playground for both work and play.

Some of you might be ready to dive into this realm of play. For those who are, I have created a new e-program, Awakening Your Phoenix Child 3 part meditative series.  (this program is not available at this time)

We are going to ignite a part of ourselves that we have not allowed ourselves to connect to in a long time. I realized this is not the rainbow meditations of manifesting our dreams, this is the, I want to connect with my inner child and begin to build a bridge of understanding.

If you have been neglecting your inner grieving girl, and now ready to bring her with you instead of leaving her behind, this series may be for you. We are going to Awaken Your Phoenix Child and she is going to be your  ally for as long as you want to stay connected to her.

Even though this e-program is NOT live, I will hold  a space  for your healing work. I will not be physically present, however if you choose to work this program during the three week window this program is released,  you will be receiving my energetic support.



You link to register

3 Steps To Soul Nourishment In 2017


The new year is almost here and many of us are busy getting ready for the holidays. Some of us have started the festivities in one way or another by honoring our familial  and ancestral traditions with celebrations, rituals and getting ready for 2017.

Many of my clients are emotionally  purging as they make room for what is coming in the new year. Sometimes we do not realize,  the end of the year brings a lot of our emotional and spiritual baggage to the surface.  We begin to reflect and review on what happened this past year and depending on the story we are telling ourselves, we may be in a good space or  feel challenged on various levels.

Regardless of our “head space”, the key to soul nourishment is to face what shows up with compassion and love.  I admit, I have had some rough days as I sift through my emotional baggage and I have also had some incredibly  warm and funny days as I look at what brought me joy and fulfillment.

Cultivating our soul nourishment all year long means, we never stop facing our lives and we choose to feel. We take full responsibility for co-creating our lives and bring self compassion and love to everything we do. When we choose to cultivate soul nourishment, we are open to experience all of what life has to offer with an open heart.

To cultivate means to prepare and use;  plow, mow, weed and water a plot of land, in other words, to cultivate is to put forth the work and effort it takes to help something become sustainable.  Hmmm….. sounds like cultivating soul nourishment requires daily work  and we all know what happens to a garden when we forget about it.

Here are three steps you can take in your life right now that will  help you Cultivate Soul Nourishment in 2017.

  1. Give Yourself the Gift of Silence:  How might your life be different if you invited silence into your life everyday.  Let go of your need to know.  Turn off the electronics for 20 minutes a day; no radio, tv or phone of any kind.  Actually notice the  thoughts showing up in your mind, and  meet them with wonder.  Noticing how much our mind races, and being a slave to the “munchy mind” ,are two different things.  When I started noticing my thoughts, I realized I was not so nice to myself and this began my journey of learning how to become more self loving.  If I had not  gifted myself with silence, I would have  never known what was behind the noise.
  2. Pay Attention to Your Heart: What an amazing gift it is to open one’s heart to the experiences of life.  It is not for the faint or weak hearted person, because moving through life with an open heart  requires strength and courage.  When we pay attention to our hearts we are paying attention to what we love and what brings us joy. We are also paying attention to what is painful and how we have kept our hearts closed to protect ourselves. Paying attention to my heart has brought my true heart’s desires forward. I have been more focused on what I want, rather the following other peoples dreams, which have left me feeling empty. Everyone’s heart journey is unique them and that is what  makes it amazing, you never know what you’re going  to get.
  3. Living in Gratitude: No soul nourishment discussion is complete without talking about living in gratitude.  I remember working in  my first gratitude journal while I was grieving the loss my hopes and dreams of a child. It was such a power way to remember what I had, instead of focusing on what was lost, which was consuming my mind.  Listing 5 things I was grateful for everyday, forced my mind to focus on hope. Living in gratitude as a way of life is a reminder that we do not have to get  lost in a world of illusions.

These three steps are only the beginning.  There are many ways to cultivate soul care and soul nourishment in 2017, let your intuition guide you.

If you are looking for ways to nourish your soul in 2017  through meditation, mindfulness  and nature, check out my latest e-course Awaken Your Feminine Power With Grandmother Moon on our Soul Care University Site.   It is wonderful meditative journey that incorporates guided meditations, healing transmissions,  ritual and nature therapy to bring about deep changes in our lives.


5 Ways Mindfulness Saved My Life


I was introduced to word mindfulness in 2004.  I was walking through one of the most painful times in my life and feeling very lost.  I was recovering from two pregnancy losses, miscarriages or baby deaths as I like to refer to them, 3 months apart, and trying to hold down a very demanding social work job which I loved very much.

I was sure of one thing, in 20 years, when I told my story of loss, I was not going to be in a state of shock and still grieving as if I had just experienced my baby’s deaths yesterday.  I was not going to walk through this pain unconsciousness and unaware.  I was going to feel.

I created a sign and put it on the wall in front of my desk. It said:

I am aware of how I feel.

I am aware of my thoughts

I am aware of my surroundings

I am aware 

I then made a self care plan of what I would do everyday. It said:

Everyday I will walk outside 

Everyday I will feel my feelings 

Everyday I will remember to breathe deeply

Everyday I will write in my journal

I shared what I was doing with my therapist and she said I was being mindful, “mindful?” I questioned.  She explained mindfulness was being with each moment without trying to be somewhere else, it was about meeting myself with love and compassion.  I told her I had been practicing this way of life for 10 years and never knew there was a “name’ for it.

2004  was a very profound time in my life.  I deepened in character more than I could have ever imagined.  I walked through a horrible time, but I learned woven within the fabric of my loss was the most intensely  beautiful threads of gold I had ever seen. This is when  soul nourishment  became a way of life for me. I learned I was the most important person on the planet and I was no longer willing  to compromise my well being.

Recently I birth Soul Care University, a virtual center where one can learn the skills needed to care for themselves at the soul level.  In 2004, I made a vow to myself that I would share what I learned about self and soul care. I would never keep my journey a secret, my mission was to share my stories as teaching tools for others, especially women who were tired, suffering in silent, and feeling beat down by life.

Here I am quietly sharing my stories to all who want to listen, learn and be inspired. As Maya Angelou said, “Wouldn’t  take nothing from my journey now”.

Here are 5 Ways Mindfulness Saved My Life:

  1. Mindfulness living reminded me that I am love and love is all there is.

  2. Mindfulness reminds me, slow and steady always wins.

  3. Mindfulness living reminds me that my life is a gift no matter what.

  4. Mindfulness living reminds me to appreciate everything.

  5. Mindfulness living has taught me it’s okay to feel.

As with all things, I am a work in progress.  Some days are easier than others but always there is a fresh new day to start again.

I invite you to learn more about Soul Care University and check out our recent e-courses and  programsWe are small, but our heart is huge.   I am working on a new e-course I Know I Will Fly, Sacred Healing Rituals for Pregnancy Loss and a few others.  Looking forward to seeing you at Soul Care U.


There Is A Divine Unfolding To Our Lives

There is a Divine unfolding to our lives. I must admit this has been a very difficult truth for me to surrender too. “You mean no matter how hard I wish, cry, scream, bribe, and try to manipulate the Universe, everything in my life is going to unfold in its Divine time?”  Well that just sucks!

I thought for sThere is a divine planure if I visualize my dreams, say my affirmations and reprogram my subconscious, I would get what I want, when I want it.  I can not tell you how many years I convinced myself that the Universe was rewarding my good behavior and positive thoughts with material possessions and good jobs.  All was right with the world when I was getting what I wanted and I could see my results.  When things begin to “slow down” or not look like I wanted it to, all I needed to do was shift my thinking, focus on my new goals, implement a few controlled strategies and all would be well.  After all, this way of manifestation  seemed to work for me in the past.

Success in life was attached to quantifiable measurements, like how much money I was making, likes on my facebook pages, and being able to manifest what other systems labeled as successful.  This way of moving through life has shifted for me and SURRENDERING  has taken its place.   Michael Beckwith calls this stage of life, CHANNELING.  He explains, and I paraphrase, it is when we make the transition from, I can achieve it, if I can dream and see it, to, I don’t need to see it to believe it,  because I surrender to the sacred unfolding of my life. It is about letting go of control. Big breath here…..

“You mean someone’s 21 day plan for success is not going to work for me, even though it seems to work for everyone else.”  Well that just sucks! I was really counting on following that rule book to make life easier for me.

Living a heart centered life is no joke, it is not for the the weak and closed hearted. Living a heart centered life requires the courage to run in a different direction than the  herd ( my dad’s favorite saying) and get into MY life’s flow.  Being with those parts of myself that are resistant to this way of life has been heart opening, humbling and transformational.

Living a heart centered life, has required a consistent commitment to deepening my relationship with me and staying focused on my personal development, by challenging my inner conversations and questioning the stories I have been listening to for years.   I must add,  meditation is really important and listening and studying various spiritual teachings I resonate with.

For now, there is no more forcing, pushing, striving, or manipulating anyone or anything for a desired result. I am learning to wake up every morning and say, “how can I serve today, show me Universe how I am to shine my Light… I surrender”.  I then notice  any resistance coming up and meet those parts of myself with compassion.   This process is helping me open to the Divine unfolding of my life.   And yes, there are days when that just really sucks!



4 Steps to Access Our Inner Technology

Girls Who Code

Last week I facilitated a  meditation circle with a group of pretty cool girls.  These girls were students in a Girls Who Code Summer Camp by Florida Tech’s WeVenture.  They are our future engineers in the technological arena.

Meditation and Technology, how in the world does that fit together? I started out with paraphrasing  a couple of definitaions I found at  and  Techonolgy: the purposeful application of information, that is utilize to make  goods and services, invent useful things or to solve problems as well as organize human activities.  We talked about the tangible technology we use everyday, but what about the intangible technology that is found within our inner worlds.  I am talking about our imagination, intuition, dreams and our emotions.

If we want advancement in ourselves and communities we are going to have to learn to access and use our inner technology with excitement and creativity.   Teaching our teenage  girls, their intuition and emotions are nothing to be feared, and a reliable tool for our survival,  supports the entire community. “The cure for pain is in the pain”‘ Rumi. Coming up with creative ways in which our teenage girls can continue toning their imaginative muscles is the future of our culture. “Imagination is everything, it is the preview of life’s coming attractions”, Einstein

Outer technology is not possible without inner technology.  Inner technology unexpressed is a tragedy. “You have wings , learn to use them and fly” Rumi.

For me, meditation has been the key to unlocking the door to my inner technology it has also fostered the courage to express myself and bring my dreams forth.  It has been the process of being quiet with myself that has uncovered a great inner peace. The process of going into my emotions as Rumi suggests has been my answer.

If you are seeking to help your teenage girl  create goods and services  and invent useful things that support her life and the lives around her, supporting her tone her inner technological muscles is the task at hand. Here are a few ideas:

  1.  Let her be imaginative: One to the girls in the group confirmed, when she was given a project from a teacher and was told to use her imagination, she still had to stay in the lines.   Create opportunities and give your teen girl permission to color outside the lines.
  2. Play intuition games, this shows her relying on her intuition is normal and nothing to fear. For example when the phone rings, encourage her to guess who it is before looking. When she asks you a question, ask her what does her gut says before answering the question. This was my favorite “game” to play with teen girls, it helps them tune in to their inner power.
  3. Encourage her to keep a dream journal and write down her dreams from the night before. I have been documenting my dreams since I was 13.  My childhood best friend and I would talk about our dreams all the time.
  4. Don’t dismiss her emotions. Let her experience them fully by listening and supporting.

As a parent and mentor notice what comes up for you. I have found when we stifle anything in someone else, it is because we are struggling to understand it ourselves.  These ideas for tapping into our inner technology are for all of us.

Standing Naked In The Mirror

naked face

I am sorry, please forgive me, I take full responsibility for not allowing you to BE.  For the past several years, in my pursuit of success, I pushed you aside.  When I first heard your whining, I hushed you.  When I heard you say you were scared, I told you not to worry and you would be fine. When you tried to share your feelings of shame, I politely told you to hold your chin up, there was no time for weakness or doubt, we had things to do.

This morning I stood naked in the mirror, trying to figure out why I was so sad.  I looked up and saw you.  I looked into your eyes and cried.  I am sorry, please forgive me,  I take full responsibility for not allowing you to BE.

For the first time in several years I saw you and felt your pain.  I did not hide our face, nor cover our mouth I just stood there naked in the mirror and allowed you to BE. Placing my hands over our heart, I whispered, “I see you…. I see you…I see you and I am not leaving.” As my feelings and emotions  expanded in my being, I never left our gaze. For a moment,  I thought I was going to explode and then, the feelings dissipated…. inhale….exhale… peace.

I have come to know, at least at this juncture of my earth walk, that when I leave parts of myself behind I don’t really move forward in wholeness. I understand we are multifaceted beings and yes my True Self is Wholeness, however, when there is  difficulty accepting this truth I explore what part or parts of  myself have a left behind.

In my experience, the process of recovering our fragments is beautifully painful.  Facing the shame and vulnerability can be tough. In my pursuit of “success”, I forgot  there will always be a part of me that is scared and unsure of her next steps.  I need to give her space to BE and bring her with me.

I feel this is the part we miss when moving forward in wholeness.   We think, if I open my closet and all of my bones fall out I have done something wrong. The Ego will seek to protect us, even when we are not in danger.  The Ego will go through great lengths to keep those bones tucked  away.   I say develop the skill of regularly listening to our bones and singing their lullaby.

What I am describing here is a form of self soul retrieval, and if we are aware, open and build this skill, we will not miss our opportunities to call our fragments  home.  The benefits of accepting our wholeness as our true SELF is inner peace. Inner peace equates to outer peace and that is a world worth creating.

Whether you work alone or with someone else, modern day soul retrieval can be achieved through learning about these healing modalities.

  1. Psycho-Spiritual Therapy
  2. Intuitive Life or Soul Coaching
  3. Energy Medicine
  4. Art-Therapy
  5. Photo-Therapy
  6. Shamanism
  7. Nature-Therapy

Creating the life we want is such a sacred practice.  It is the constant weaving of  our light strands and allowing  our tapestry of beauty to unfold.

Hello  Me, I love you…please forgive me…I am sorry….Thank you.  O’oponopono   Dr. Len

face pic

All of me.

Facing The Dark Night Of The Soul

meditation woman

While walking this morning I ran into one of my neighbors, she was limping and I questioned what had happened.  She mentioned she had broke her ankle in January and she was just getting out of the house.  “Ouch, I am so sorry  to hear you are having a rough time”, I told her.  As we parted I could not help but reflect upon my current life experiences.  We are always given just what we need to assist us on our journey to enlightenment. The question is, are we open to receive this wisdom.  Whatever circumstances we create for ourselves, it always seems to lead us closer to who we really are.  At least, this  is what is showing up for me on this leg of my life’s journey.

As I walked home I was grateful I  had not manifested a broken ankle to set me down, but realized I had indeed manifested a symbolic broken ankle. For the last month or so, my life has come to a screeching hault. Movement into each day has been emotionally painful and all I can do is sit.  The space I require away from others has increased ten fold and my perceptions of my experiences are gloomy and heavy to say the least.

Hmmmmmm…… I’ve been here before. In other times in my life, this life phase has been triggered by  trauma, so this time, I did not recognize it, however I know this feeling.  “Facing the dark night of the soul” is what spiritual teachers call it.

For me, it is a time of feeling the bottom has dropped out of my life and I am free falling with no net. Deep shifts in consciousness are occurring and nothing seems to make sense and everything makes more sense all at the same time.  When facing the dark knight of my soul, I find stillness to be my enemy and friend.  The resistance to be still is strong, as my ego wants to protect me, yet stillness is all that comforts me.  It is in this stillness that I remember  Source Energy, that which we call God, I AM, Oneness and all that is me.

As a spiritual guide and teacher to others this is a very vulnerable place.  To share this this part of my journey brings both fear and relief.  Our egos will play tricks on us by telling us we are unworthy or not good enough, to keep us from going deeper.  Our little ‘I” will bring forth feelings of shame and convince us we have to protect ourselves which means me must remain silent.

There is a difference between entering into the silence or stillness for reflection and being silent because of fear and shame.  I have found in my walks with the Dark Night, that I am lead to long moments of stillness.  There is nothing else to do. The Dark Night reminds me to BE.

As a practitioner this is my most important work. Without these times of of emptying, reflecting and rebuilding I can not be a vessel of Truth.

A wise healer said to me, if we do not engage in deep breathing as a practice, we  breathe from stale air because our lungs never fully empty.  So it is true for our emotional and spiritual bodies, at some point in our involution we will need to empty everything so we can regenerate from a refreshed and renewed state.

If the dark night of the soul has called you to empty, I encourage you to gather your courage and be still.  Here are a few tips that have helped me along the way.

  • Seek support but do not let it become another distraction from being still.  Connect with someone who can hold space for you, and not just  give you answers.
  • Spend lots of time in nature. Long walks at the beach and in the woods. Back porch gazing at the sunsets or sun rises can bring a sense of calm in your storm.
  • Engage in sacred writing.  This is one of my favorites, develop a style of writing that suits your needs
  • Listen to inspiring spiritual teachers everyday. There are a plethora of podcasts, audiobooks and web streaming available.  I listen to at least 15 minutes a day of my favorite authors and motivational speakers.
  • Lastly, share your story appropriately. Storytelling is the oldest healing modality there is. Healing for both the teller and the listener,  do not underestimate this ancient art of healing.

If you facing the dark night of the soul or a rough spot in your life’s journey, may LOVE of ALL comfort you and gently nourish you home.


Chonteau  is currently working on her next affirmational journal, a compilation of nature pictures from her garden in her times of stillness. She has just completed “Daily Meditations for Healers” a MP3 download which can be found at this link. 

Lightworkers Need Support Too

The longer I walk on planet earth the more I am guided to live my full truth  Many of the clienchonteau herbal conferencets I tend to attract are Lightworkers.  Whether she acknowledges it or not she is different than others around her. She seeks something more meaningful in her life, that she knows will have a significant impact on the lives of others.  She knows there is something uniquely special about the way she is, but she may not have figured it out yet.  Maybe she was the odd ball in the family  and everyone always wondered why her head was always in the clouds.

He may have gravitated towards the arts, or alternative healing as a livelihood.  He might be a Intuitive, Life Coach, Yoga Instructor  or Auric Photographer. She may the the writer, painter or actress that believes the work she does is changing the world. Regardless of what she is doing, there is a deep sense that she is here to remind people of the Truth.

This is just one descriptive path of a Lightworker,  and it happens to mirror my own. The longer I walk on planet earth the more I am guided to live my full truth.

My story is not uncommon, major childhood loss, leads to a profession in the social services, (if I can’t fix my childhood, than I will help fix others) which eventually leads to connecting with other Lightworkers and realizing that I am not alone, which leads to breaking out on my own  fully embracing my calling.

I know I made is sound easy but trust me it was not and is not. This life of a Modern Day Shaman is work. It is work because I want to effect deep change in others which means I must do the deep inner work myself. The the responsibility of walking your talk, and showing up 100% in one’s life can be exhausting, so why would one choose it?  For me I would rather have moments of exhaustion and feel the thrill of an authentic life lived,   than living a lie and become the walking dead.

Why Shamanic SuperVision? I know the frustrations of  birthing  and rebirthing your gifts to the world. We want to believe it has nothing to do with what’s going on inside of us and everything to do with strategies and plans.  Uncovering your passions and doing your deep soul work,  hold hands.  Learning how to hold a sacred space for yourself while holding it for others is a dance and Shamanic SuperVision is for those Lightworkers who want support from someone who is committed to learning this dance.

Social Workers and Mental Health Therapist  have clinical supervision, Physicians have residencies, what do Lightworkers  and Healers in the Spiritual Arts  have to support them through their process of becoming great? What about the Lightworkers who are just waking up  and witnessing their life completely falling apart? They need guidance and support too.

The longer  I  walk on planet earth the more I am guided to live my full truth. For now, living my full truth is showing up in my life every day and doing  the best that I can.  If there is something I can share along the way that will help a fellow Lightworker see more clearly  and increase her SuperVision… it was a good day.

Learn more about Chonteau’s Shamanic SuperVision Individual Coaching.

Learn more about Awakening Your Shamanic Soul Women’s Retreat



Earth Day Is Everyday

Nature is not just my mother, but my father, siblings, aunties, uncles and cousins. Basically, Nature is my kinfolk and I welcome opportunities to get to know Nature and her many dimensions  all tIMG_1389he time.  I would definitely say, I have awakened my earthen soul and celebrating Earth Day has very little to do with it.

I know, I know, all us spiritified generation Xer’s and others,  love our Earth Day celebrations.  We get all dressed up in our eco friendly clothing and jump from one festival to the next all weekend long. We eat vegan food,  look for crystals and gemstones in every form and listen to pretty cool bands.  If we are feeling adventurous, we take a jaunt to WholeFoods and partake in the free samples and discounts, and let’s not  forget the drum circle to complete the weekend.

This however, this not the way of deepening our relationship with  Nature. In order to develop and maintain a solid relationship with Nature, I have to put my ear to the ground and listen, which means, I have to slow down and stop. My earthen soul is that part of myself that is nature. She is the part of me that is the howling winds, tall trees and peaceful lakes. She is the part of me that understands, before I can respect planet earth, I have to respect planet Chonteau and when I am respecting planet Chonteau, I am respecting planet earth because we are kinfolk.

Earth Day had its resurgence in 1990. It was that year  I asked my dad what he was going to do for Earth Day.  He said “plant a tree”. Every year after that until I left home, on Earth Day, we planted a tree in the backyard of my childhood home. The next year was spent nurturing that tree until it was strong.

Earth Day is everyday, because everyday I remind myself that I need to be in my  body. I choose to be presenIHM seriest.  I think the earth suffers when we as a nation are absent from who we really are. The more we check out of our bodies the more the earth dies. The principle of correspondence teaches us that, “as above so below; as below so above”.

It is time to Awaken Your Earthen Soul and not just get in your body but stay there.  By respecting, trusting and nourishing planet human we respect, trust and nourish  planet earth.

Check out this short Free webseries which will help us slow down and  connect deeply with nature

Awaken Your Earthen Soul 

Self Care Is A Journey

Chonteaus SPP Session-45

I would definitely say the term “self care”  is trending right now.  Every women’s magazine has an article about ways to take care of yourself, from weekly ritual baths,  to girls nights out on the town.  There are tips for setting boundaries with others and eating healthy foods, all in the name of self care.

My life coaching business is centered around guiding middle-aged women through the terrain of self care but self care is not always easy.  I have found there are various levels of self care or soul nourishment,  what I prefer to call it, and when one truly commits to soul nourishment…. well, hold onto your socks, because your life is going to turn into “Mr Toad’s Wild Ride”. Why would I say that? Soul nourishment  aka self care is supposed to be fun right? When I focus on my self care I get to have massages,  pedicures and buy new clothes. I take myself out to dinner and hang with my girlfriends.  We get to pretend our lives are perfect by distracting ourselves with our children’s school issues or complain to each other about all the wrongdoings in the world. Can you tell I am kinda over it.  That is not self care.

A couple of years ago decided to write a book about self care.  However I did not want it to be the cookie cutter  14 tips to self care book, it was very important that I share some of my journey as a middle ager. I wanted to share some challenges, but mostly introspective strategies of how to change who we are.  There, I said it, self care in my definition  is about change. Actually it is about deep inner change, and we all know what happens next…. Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride.

My self care practices have evolved over the years, not because I am getting older but because I am becoming more aware. Self care used to be about gardening, pottery classes and going out to eat.  It evolved to daily meditation, going to church and focusing on my spiritual life. I am now at the stage in my life when self care is more about soul nourishment and learning to love myself just as I am. I love eating wholesome, but when I don’t, do I love myself still and have the courage to explore what I do not want  to face. Gardening and meditating are still part of my life but I have learned to embrace so much more.

An 84 Day Self Care Journey For Women In Their Middle Years is a simple but profoundly deep self help  journal that focuses on the steps of how to change and renew ones life.  For many middle age women,  we have put of our dreams on a shelf and  midlife is when we go back to that shelf, dust off our dreams and re-dream something new.  The only way to do this is to commit to our soul nourishment, that’s the key. We must put ourselves first and that my friend is no easy task.

I will get you started, here are the first 7 days of An 84 Day Self Care Journey For Women In Their Middle Years:

  1. Day One:  Renewal of self begins with the commitment to doing the inner work.  Today I commit to doing the work.  
  2. Day Two:  Today I make a list of what parts of my life the need renewing.
  3. Day Three:  Today I remind myself that change is a process that last a life time. There are no shortcuts to renewing our Spirits. Today I continue to stay committed to the process. 
  4. Day Four:  Our relationships play a vital role in our lives. Today I contemplate my relationships. I ask myself which relationship are hurting me and which are helping me?
  5. Day Five:  Today’s Affirmation: I deserve to have healthy and happy relationships in my life. 
  6. Day Six:  First 5 days on our renewal journey is complete. Congrats on committing to your self care.  Today I meditate on the last 5 days. 
  7. Day Seven:  Rest

Self care or Soul Nourishment  is a journey and I never expect to reach the end, what fun would that be? A life without twirls, turns bumps and humps is just no fun at all.  I happen to like  Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride, what about you?