I know you have heard the phrase “fake it to you make it” I was a big believer of this for many many years until I decided to challenge this core belief and I am so glad I did.
There is no room in my life or my healing practice for pretending. In the counseling world this is called in congruent, it’s when the outside does not match the inside, and it can be a slippery slope indeed. It’s when we say we are fine and we damn well know, we are not fine. I did it for years. Its exhausting and it cost me a part of myself every day.
Here’s the thing, the outside always matches the inside. We may not want to admit that the chaotic, and sometimes depressing outside reflects parts of our inside, but it does.
The question is as practitioners and healers are we willing to come from behind our cloak of invulnerability as we serve others and face, what is looking at us, in the face, is a part of us and our stories.
When we fake or pretend that we are not vulnerable and not on our own healing journey we dishonor those whom we serve. Holding a healing space for ourselves and others is a skill. Knowing if, when and how to share one’s healing stories is a tool used in soul recovery. Our stories are healing for both the teller and receiver, but there is a way to share, that is not ego focused. There is a significant amount of inner work that must be done before we can effectively share our stories in a away the heals rather than hinders.
The truth is, awakening one’s authentic self as a spiritual healer is some of the most treacherous, heart opening, maddening inner work one will ever do, anything less, we are not getting to the heart of of the matter.
When we fake a good mood, or positive outlook we perpetuate untruths. When we pretend we are further ahead on our healing journey than we are just because we have come out of hardship and pain, we are not supporting those we serve. That’ called faking it till you make it and THAT is not honest.
As healers, why not face the truth and begin to understand all of our feelings, good, bad and indifferent. Before we blindly write over painful stories and expect our clients to do the same, lets model how explore them and see what has kept them alive for so many years. It is in the process of getting real with ourselves that true healing occurs.
Are you faking it till you make it:
- Do you tell your healing stories from the third person point of view?
- Are you scripting your conversations with your clients and others?
- Do you allow yourself to be vulnerable because its trending as a marketing strategy?
- Do you use terms like, “I am always happy, I am always positive, I avoid negativity, I never get mad, nothing bothers me, when asked how you are doing you always say, I am fine.”
These are just few of the questions to ask yourself and explore what thoughts and feelings come up.
Bottom line healers, Be True and face the many layers of the real you.