Have you ever had a setback? Were you really looking forward to something and it did not come through the way you wanted or when you wanted? Have you then tried to talk yourself out of feeling sad about it. You tell yourself that it really did not matter, it was not meant to be, don’t worry about it, stay positive, stay strong, basically “get over it already, it’s no big deal”. No matter how much you tell yourself these words, there is still that nagging feeling of sadness and frustration underneath your positive attitude. Does this sound familiar?
How often as children and adolescents are we told, when something does not go our way to suck it up, get over it, deal with it, get on with life, you don’t get what you want, you are being too emotional and the list goes on.
As adults we have memorized these words our guardians have told us, so much so, that we are masters of hiding how we truly feel, especially when it comes to emotional pain. We have become experts in abandoning our inner children because we were abandoned as children and not allowed to grieve our losses.
A loss is not just a personing dying. We experience loss in the form of dreams unrealized, moving on from friends, losing meaningful items, leaving a job, moving to a new home or new school. We experience losses all the time and however my inner child perceives them is quite alright.
Something happened this week that did not go as planned and I wanted to be a “big girl” and not be upset about it. However, I could feel that nagging feeling of sadness as my inner child was trying to express her feelings and I, the adult in me, did not want to hear it. “We just have to suck it up and not worry. You are being dramatic, you know everything happens for a reason, there is nothing to fear…” this is what I was thinking to myself. After about 3 hours of trying to work and convince myself I was not feeling let down, I put my work down, layed in my bed and cried.
I this moment that is all my inner child wanted to do.
And so this is how we heal…we face ourselves and not run from ourselves.
I imagined my inner child being held in my arms. I imagined I was rocking her and loving her. I imagined she was fully accepted in all of her worry, sadness and frustration. I did not try to fix her or make her okay. I just imagined she was okay just as she was.
Can you imagine how we or even the world would be different, if this was the message we received as children when we experienced loss? That is the world I am down to create.
In comes the Phoenix Child
Did you know that even within our grieving inner child there is a part of her that is our phoenix child. She our phoenix child lives in us too and she is incredibly powerful. She holds the keys to our self compassion and forgiveness. She really is magical in every way. I love knowing we as spiritual beings are so multifaceted, we have such depth to us, as the saying goes, and I paraphrase, there are many mansions in the kingdom of I.
Inner child work is a daily mindfulness practice of becoming aware of one’s inner conversations. The question is are we willing to listen and allow this amazing relationship to to bloom. Using meditation and guided imagery, has been my way to awakening my Phoenix Child or as some refer to her as, the magical child. Tapping into our safe space within has been our playground for both work and play.
Some of you might be ready to dive into this realm of play. For those who are, I have created a new e-program, Awakening Your Phoenix Child 3 part meditative series. (this program is not available at this time)
We are going to ignite a part of ourselves that we have not allowed ourselves to connect to in a long time. I realized this is not the rainbow meditations of manifesting our dreams, this is the, I want to connect with my inner child and begin to build a bridge of understanding.
If you have been neglecting your inner grieving girl, and now ready to bring her with you instead of leaving her behind, this series may be for you. We are going to Awaken Your Phoenix Child and she is going to be your ally for as long as you want to stay connected to her.
Even though this e-program is NOT live, I will hold a space for your healing work. I will not be physically present, however if you choose to work this program during the three week window this program is released, you will be receiving my energetic support.